Quotes for Building Humor

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.
Robert Benchley

This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought.
Lin Yutang

When humor goes, there goes civilization.
Erma Bombeck

What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor.
Bern Williams

Wit is the lowest form of humor.
Alexander Pope

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
Bill Cosby

When a thought takes one’s breath away, a grammar lesson seems impertinence.
Thomas W. Higginson

There is no defense against adverse fortune, which is so effectual as a habitual sense of humor.
Thomas W. Higginson

Wit – the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
Ambrose Bierce

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don’t get sick you’re missing half the fun.
Flip Wilson

Memorable Saying Said of Natalie Portman

Natalie Portman

I agree with Walter Murch’s theory that digital will never have the emotional or visual power of regular film, because audiences respond to absences. Regular film has a split second of blank screen between each shot, which the audience’s brain has to automatically fill in. Digital doesn’t have that, so it doesn’t engage the audience in the same ways. In all modernist literature, the most present thing is what’s absent. Like the opening of The Sound and the Fury, where they’re looking between the fence. Or in Closer the most important parts, the relationships, are missing and have to be filled in by the audience. Absences are crucial.

Natalie Portman

Sarcastic Quotes

Have more than thou showest,
Speak less than thou knowest.
William Shakespeare

Have the courage to be ignorant of a great number of things, in order to avoid the calamity of being ignorant of everything.
Sydney Smith

An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last chapter missing.
Quentin Crisp

Put your trust in God – - but keep your powder dry.
Oliver Cromwell

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain

Don’t get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny.
Kathryn Carpenter

Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.
James Thurber

In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
Franz Kafka.

Football is not a contact sport. Its a collision sport
Duffy Daugherty

Work as if you were to live 100 years; pray as if you were to die tomorrow.
Benjamin Franklin

A Quotation Spoken by Richard M. Nixon

Richard Nixon

I leave you gentleman now and you will write it. You will interpret it. That’s your right. But as I leave you I want you to know Ñ just think how much you’re going to be missing. You don’t have Nixon to kick around any more, because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference and it will be one in which I have welcomed the opportunity to test wits with you.

Richard M. Nixon

Press conference after losing the election for Governor of California, (7 November 1962); “Transcript of Nixon’s News Conference on His Defeat by Brown in Race for Governor of California”, New York Times (8 November 1962), p. 18.

Quotations about Absence

Can miles truly separate you from friends…. If you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there?
Richard Bach

Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell.
Emily Dickinson, “Parting”

Your absence has gone through me Like thread through a needle Everything I do is stitched with its color.
W.S. Merwin, “Separation”

Life is so short, so fast the lone hours fly, We ought to be together, you and I.
Henry Alford, “You and I” (Thanks, Jenn)

The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected.
Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

To die and part is a less evil; but to part and live, there, there is the torment.
George Lansdowne

Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it’s one day further from the last time you saw each other, it’s one day closer to the next time you will.
Author Unknown

Ye flowers that drop, forsaken by the spring, Ye birds that, left by summer, cease to sing, Ye trees that fade, when Autumn heats remove, Say, is not absence death to those who love?
Alexander Pope

Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire.
Francois Duc de la Rochefoucauld, translated from French

Quotes about Missing Someone

Love is missing someone whenever you’re apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you’re close in heart.
Kay Knudsen

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes.
Henry David Thoreau

Absence from whom we love is worse than death, and frustrates hope severer than despair.
William Cowper

Love reckons hours for months, and days for years; and every little absence is an age.
John Dryden

Oft in the tranquil hour of night, When stars illume the sky, I gaze upon each orb of light, And wish that thou wert by.
George Linley

I keep coming back to you in my head, but you couldn’t know that, and I have no carbons.
Adrienne Rich

The joy of meeting pays the pangs of absence; else who could bear it?
Nicholas Rowe

She went her un-remembering way, She went and left in me The pang of all the partings gone, And partings yet to be.
Francis Thompson

Don’t be dismayed by good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again after moments or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends.
Richard Bach

It is loneliness that makes the loudest noise. This is true of men as of dogs.
Eric Hoffer

Missing You Quotes

Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.
Lamartine

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.
Claudia Ghandi

What is the opposite of two? A lonely me, a lonely you.
Richard Wilbur

Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven.
Tryon Edwards

Days of absence, sad and dreary, Clothed in sorrow’s dark array, – Days of absence, I am weary; She I love is far away.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau

I am tired, Beloved, of chafing my heart against the want of you; of squeezing it into little ink drops, And posting it.
Amy Lowell, “The Letter”

Why can’t we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn’t work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.
Charles M. Schulz

One kind kiss before we part, Drop a tear, and bid adieu; Though we sever, my fond heart Till we meet shall pant for you.
Robert Dodsley

Ever absent, ever near; Still I see thee, still I hear; Yet I cannot reach thee, dear!
Francis Kazinczy

I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can play together all night.
Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes